I do not stalk my crush, I simply gather information for specific purposes

slytherpuff-karma:

(via caw-caw-mothercluckers)

Being confronted on Facebook

  • Random girl: Why did you add me on facebook?
  • Me: Oh your name was sitting in my "people you may know" section of Facebook so I thought I would add you so it would go away. (I lied! I actually added you because your extremely attractive and hope to one day touch your private parts)

You spread rumors like a slut spreads her legs.

Attractive people, give me your pretty pills.