The meaning of life is to give life a meaning come on people that’s something we can all agree with.

Double backflips off the hood of a car onto a skateboard being propelled by jets fueled by the tears of orphans screaming yolo

When I was a kid my mom told me that rice filled up all the empty space in your tummy and I believed that was true until I was like 16

Harry Potter would have been 10x better if Jason Alexander played voldemort

I just remembered this now, I was walking down the halls today while these two freshman girls were arguing about who the cutest member of One Direction was and as I walked away from them I whispered “Harry… It will always be Harry”

Am I the only one who’s worried that once Wikipedia goes black it’ll never go back?

Love is when you touch their hearts not their private parts.

I’ve nicknamed my penis ‘Elbow’. It’s flexible, It’s hard, and my mom doesn’t like it on the table during dinner.

Has anyone noticed that sexual tension when bus drivers wave to each other?

Everything I know about basketball I learned from Space Jam.